Nonviolence as a Spiritual Practice

9/5

Lately I am being reminded of the Kingian (as in Dr Martin Luther King Jr) philosophy of loving your enemy. I know this of course could also be attributed to some variations of Christianity or to Jesus Christ. Or, it could be drawn from Mahatma Ghandi's efforts to teach and practice nonviolent protest and civil disobedience. For me though, Dr. King is the inspiration.

Probably in part because his legacy feels closer to home for me since his work was within the country and century that I was born. But also because when I was learning a ways back about the Civil Rights Movement and the Freedom Riders, I was awe struck by the effort and training that was formally practiced to prepare for the experience of being maltreated.

I was actually just talking with my husband about this the other day, how impressive the lengths were that the Freedom Riders went through in order to learn & practice nonviolent responses rather than aggressively reacting to oppression. I have watched video of the Freedom Riders' training classes that I just described, and I thought to myself, "we need more of that." We, I, need more actual formal training in learning how to respond mindfully and purposefully to adversity.

A Unitarian Universalist church I used to go to had classes every so often that taught lessons from a book titled " Nonviolent Communication: a language of life" by Marshall Rosenberg.  The class was followed by monthly practice groups to reinforce the skills which were learned. I actually never had the opportunity to go to it myself, but I remember a conversation I had once with the Reverend of that church, and in that conversation she referred to the class and the book. She said I should try to consider what my own needs are and what the expressed and unexpressed needs are of the individual or group that I am in conflict with. She said, that one technique may make a mindful wise response more do-able for me, even when in anger or fear or another intense emotion.

And certainly not just in the more macro arena of civil rights or social justice. I need it in my micro day to day life. I need formal practice to help me navigate relationships with people who treat me poorly. Whether that be family, colleagues, neighbors, community members, strangers. Because the reality is we will be confronted with people throughout our lives who engage in cruel and mean behaviors. Whether it be smaller passive aggressive comments to egregious harassment. And let's face it, "loving your enemy" is actually really really hard. Like, really hard.

But you know what keeps me motivated to keep trying? The piece also from Dr King, and probably others as well, that I don't want to turn into the enemy myself. I don't want to be filled with misery and anger and hate just like the individual or groups who perpetrate the violence and aggression. Not for my own well being. And certainly not for my children's well being.

 And so, I keep practicing.