Song As Spiritual Practice to Keep Us Sane

Sometimes it seems like my spiritual practice is really a sanity practice.

I’m using this term “sanity” loosely and broadly of course. 

Though mental illness is a very real issue for millions of children and adults, given the pressures and stressors of 21^st century living, I think we could all probably locate ourselves somewhere on the sanity spectrum in some choice moments.   And for me, spiritual practices can keep my feet rooted and my heart lifted when the winds begin to blow.

As Viktor Frankl noted in his more dramatic example in the classic book Man’s Search for Meaning about the role of meaning-making in the mental survival of victims of the Holocaust, a sanity strategy or practice should not be underestimated.

In my work in the field of psychotherapy we would probably call these “self care” practices if applied to ourselves the practitioners or “protective factors” if applied to a patient or client; both terms very safe and secular in their verbiage, but still just elephants of a different color.

Because the truth is, we need these practices.  As much as we need food, shelter and water.

Lately I’ve been thinking about the role of song and music in spiritual practice as a sanity strategy.

It came from 2 experiences that came right on the heels of each other.

The 1^st was a day recently in which I received some very hurtful news over the phone- a really tough thing to hear.  And within seconds of hanging up the phone, I found myself singing a song in my head.  I wasn’t even aware of the exact moment that I moved into the song, because by the time I was aware of it, I was well into the second verse.

It struck me as so interesting that I automatically turned to song as a means to soothe myself without conscious awareness.

You might be wondering, what was the song?

It was a song I learned in the Unitarian Universalist Church called “There’s a River Flowin’ in My Soul.”  The lyrics go like this:

There’s a river flowin’ in my soul.

There’s a river

flowin’ in my soul.

And it’s tellin’ me

that I’m somebody.

There’s a river

flowin’ in my soul

There’s a river flowin’ in my mind.

There’s a river

flowin’ in my mind.

And it’s tellin’ me

that I’m somebody.

There’s a river

flowin’ in my mind

There’s a river flowin’ in my heart.

There’s a river

flowin’ in my heart.

And it’s tellin’ me

that I’m somebody.

There’s a river

flowin’ in my heart

There’s a river flowing in my soul.

There’s a river

flowin’ in my soul.

And it’s tellin’ me

That I’m somebody.

There’s a river

flowin’ in my soul

I remember the first time I heard this song in a Sunday church service because I cried.  It happened slowly, organically, as I listened to the congregation sing the song, and I tried to follow along with the words in the hymnal. 

As I’ve written before, I am not a big crier-- even when I want to-- so it took me off guard when the tears began to flow.  It seemed the song was able to reach somewhere deep inside of me. A place of tenderness that had been well-protected and walled off for a long time. Yet somehow, like smoke or steam, the song was able to transcend the closed doors and the locked windows to touch that inner soft spot.

The 2^nd experience was in the same 48 hours when I heard an African American poet and professor named Nikki Giovanni share her perspective that the Spirituals, or the religious folksongs of African Americans, may have been the “sanity practice” that allowed for mental survival of atrocities like the crossing of the Atlantic Ocean in slave ships, or the Middle Passage.

Like Viktor Frankl’s example, any conjecture about how one survives something like the Middle Passage is far beyond my comprehension or capacity to even imagine, and yet, these extreme examples may be the exceptions that make the rule.  In other words, if singing a Spiritual could be helpful to get through slavery, how could it not be helpful for my small but valid difficulties?

The experience of having the cross-section of these 2 experiences (my soothing myself with a song and hearing Dr. Giavanni’s take on the importance of Spirituals for mental survival), I decided to dig a little deeper into the history of the Spirituals, and I found these words from a PBS interview with Musicologist, Dr. Horace Clarence Boyer (July 28, 1935 – July 21, 2009) who was one of the foremost scholars on African-American gospel music. 

He said:

The Negro spiritual itself is a religious folksong of the slave era, which expresses basically two thoughts. One is liberation, and the other is sorrow. For example, "Go Down Moses" is a sorrow song. "In that Great Getting Up Morning, Fare Ye Well" is a jubilee. That’s a liberation. We’re going to get out of this situation, one way or the other.

The Negro spiritual is a type of folksong, a religious folksong made up by the people for a particular need, and in their words, in their musical language, and used when they need it. When they don’t need it, they don’t use it. This is what the religious folksong is.

Now, let me tell you what happens. You start singing a song, and when you’re singing it first, according to the slaves, you’re just singing the words. But after a while, it’s almost like therapy. It begins to take the frown out of the face. The shoulders begin to come back to their natural position. What’s happening is, you’re going through a cleansing process. You’re coming back to where you wanted to be. Things are not quite as bad as you think they are. And the more you sing it, huh, the more you find relief, the more you believe that there is a way out of this.

Remember that the slaves endured days of hard work, mistreatment, little food, little clothing, little rest. And they had to get up the next day to work hard, get little [food], little clothing, a little rest, and get up the next day and go through hard work, little food, little clothing, so that they had to have something which would inspire them, which would keep them getting up from day to day. And that’s what these spirituals did for the slaves. I’ll tell you, had we had psychiatrists during that time, and sent the slaves to them, I don’t know whether they could have done the effective job that these spirituals did for them.

“When they need it.”  I love those words.  And, “you’re going through a cleansing process. You’re coming back to where you wanted to be.”

Reading Dr. Boyer’s take on the Spirituals made me tear up… 

As I’ve written before, I am someone who has “exiled” or “split off” (to use language by Jungian analyst and author Marion Woodman) some emotions to places so far inside of me they’ve become almost untouchable- even now when I would love nothing else but to release them.  But in song, I can almost sense the bridge that gets as close as one could hope to the “gold” inside.

For me, song is one way I am able to make that bridge.

In Stephen Cope’s book The Great Work of Your Life, he quotes Marion Woodman who speaks about the need to make a bridge to this “gold.”

She says:

“Go into the basement, the attic, the refuse bin. Find gold there. Find an animal who has not been fed or watered. It is you!! This neglected, exiled animal, hungry for attention, is a part of your self.”

In this same book, The Great Work of Your Life, Stephen Cope discusses Marion Woodman’s special attention and expertise in the wisdom of paradox, and it was fascinating to me, that Dr. Boyer noted that the Spirituals hold a paradox as well.  He noted that the Spirituals are both “sorrow” songs and “liberation” songs; two opposites that sit in paradox within the same musical genre.  I totally get that; that place so deep inside of me feels like it holds both truths.

Woodman recommends that we neither “exile” nor “privilege” these disparate and paradoxical parts of ourselves- -the sorrow or the liberation--but rather allow them to live in wholeness.

She says:

We learn to live in paradox, in a world where two apparently exclusive views are held at the same time. In this world, rhythms of paradox are circuitous, slow, born of feeling rising from the thinking heart. Many sense such a place exists. Few talk or walk from it.

It seems perhaps that part of the wisdom of the Spirituals  is how they act as such an elegant container for such an excruciating paradox (both sorrow or grief and liberation or joyous freedom) to be held. Surly such a container would aid and assist an individual toward sanity.

Since making these connections, however personalized they may be, I have taken another look at other meaningful songs for me.  Songs that truly feel like a cleansing process as musicologist Dr. Boyer so accurately suggested.  Songs that may sound silly or inconsequential to others, but we continue to sing them or listen to them anyway because we “need to.”

These songs include the religious, the secular, the activist, and the pop musical genres.  They are songs that I may have listened to many times over, and often the lyrics are quite repetitive, as if I need the same message reiterated several times over in order to penetrate the invisible barrier inside.

As I write this, I become even more sure, even more confident, in the truth that music and song keeps me sane.  How grateful I am for all of the artists who have created and maintained this sacred practice.

What music or songs cleanse your soul?  What difficult paradoxes are held for you in this music?

And just because…Here are some songs that have been precious to me:

Amazing Grace

Amazing grace

how sweet the sound

that saved a wretch like me

i once was lost

but now i'm found

was blind but now i see

'Twas grace that taught

my heart to fear

and grace that fear relieved

how precious did

that grace appear

the hour i first believed

Through many dangers

toils and snares

i have already come

'twas grace that brought me

safely thus far

and grace will lead me home

And when this heart

and flesh shall fail

and mortal life shall cease

i shall possess

within the vail

a life of joy and peace

How Can I Keep from Singing

Artist, Pete Seeger’s version –

My life flows on in endless song

Above earth's lamentation.

I hear the real, though far off hymn

That hails the new creation

No storm can shake my inmost calm

While to that rock I'm clinging.

It sounds an echo in my soul

How can I keep from singing?

What though the tempest round me roars

I know the truth it liveth

What though the darkness round me close

Songs in the night it giveth

No storm can shake my inmost calm

While to that rock I'm clinging.

Since love is lord of Heaven and earth

How can I keep from singing?

When tyrants tremble, sick with fear,

And hear their death-knell ringing,

When friends rejoice both far and near,

How can I keep from singing?

In prison cell and dungeon vile

Our thoughts to them are winging.

When friends by shame are undefiled,

How can I keep from singing?

Khumbaya

Artist: Soweto Gospel Choir Version

Somebody's crying Lord Khumbaya (Come by here)
Somebody's praying Lord Khumbaya
Somebody's crying Lord Khumbaya
Somebody's praying Lord Khumbaya

Oh Lord, hear my prayer Khumbaya
As I lift my voice and say Khumbaya
I need you Lord today Khumbaya
I need you right away Khumbaya

Somebody's crying Lord Khumbaya
Somebody's praying Lord Khumbaya

Somebody's in despair
Somebody feels like no one cares
I know you'll make a way.
Yes! God will make a way
Somebody's in despair
Somebody feels like no one cares
I know you'll make a way.
Yes! God will make a way

Somebody's in despair
Somebody feels like no one cares

Oooh Khumbaya...
Oh Lord, Khumbaya
Oh Lord, Khumbaya

True Colors

Artist: Cyndi Lauper

You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small

But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

Show me a smile then,
Don't be unhappy, can't remember
When I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

I'll Stand By You

Artist: Pretenders

Oh, why you look so sad?

Tears are in your eyes

Come on and come to me now

Don't be ashamed to cry

Let me see you through

'cause I've seen the dark side too

When the night falls on you

You don't know what to do

Nothing you confess

Could make me love you less

I'll stand by you

I'll stand by you

Won't let nobody hurt you

I'll stand by you

So if you're mad, get mad

Don't hold it all inside

Come on and talk to me now

Hey, what you got to hide?

I get angry too

Well I'm a lot like you

When you're standing at the crossroads

And don't know which path to choose

Let me come along

'cause even if you're wrong

I'll stand by you

I'll stand by you

Won't let nobody hurt you

I'll stand by you

Take me in, into your darkest hour

And I'll never desert you

I'll stand by you

And when...

When the night falls on you, baby

You're feeling all alone

You won't be on your own

I'll stand by you

I'll stand by you

Won't let nobody hurt you

I'll stand by you

Take me in, into your darkest hour

And I'll never desert you

I'll stand by you

I'll stand by you

Won't let nobody hurt you

I'll stand by you

Won't let nobody hurt you

I'll stand by you

Roll Away Your Stone

Artist: Mumford & Sons

Roll away your stone, I’ll roll away mine

Together we can see what we can find

Don’t leave me alone at this time,

For I am afraid of what I will discover inside

You told me that I would find a home,

Within the fragile substance of my soul

And I have filled this void with things unreal,

And all the while my character it steals

The darkness is a harsh term don’t you think?

And yet it dominates the things I seek

It seems as if all my bridges have been burned,

You say that’s exactly how this grace thing works

It’s not the long walk home that will change this heart,

But the welcome I receive with the restart

The darkness is a harsh term don’t you think?

And yet it dominates the things I seek

The darkness is a harsh term don’t you think?

And yet it dominates the things I seek

The darkness is a harsh term don’t you think?

And yet it dominates the things I seek

Stars hide your fires,

And these here are my desires

And I will give them up to you this time around

And so, I’ll be found with my steak stuck in this ground

Marking its territory of this newly impassioned soul

But you, you’ve come too far this time

You have neither reason nor rhyme

With which to take this soul that is so rightfully mine

Fast Car

Artist: Tracy Chapman

You got a fast car

I want a ticket to anywhere

Maybe we make a deal

Maybe together we can get somewhere

Any place is better

Starting from zero got nothing to lose

Maybe we'll make something

Me myself I got nothing to prove

You got a fast car

I got a plan to get us out of here

I been working at the convenience store

Managed to save just a little bit of money

Won't have to drive too far

Just 'cross the border and into the city

You and I can both get jobs

And finally see what it means to be living

See my old man's got a problem

He live with the bottle that's the way it is

He says his body's too old for working

His body's too young to look like his

My mama went off and left him

She wanted more from life than he could give

I said somebody's got to take care of him

So I quit school and that's what I did

You got a fast car

Is it fast enough so we can fly away?

We gotta make a decision

Leave tonight or live and die this way

So remember when we were driving driving in your car

Speed so fast I felt like I was drunk

City lights lay out before us

And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder

And I had a feeling that I belonged

I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You got a fast car

We go cruising, entertain ourselves

You still ain't got a job

And I work in a market as a checkout girl

I know things will get better

You'll find work and I'll get promoted

We'll move out of the shelter

Buy a bigger house and live in the suburbs

               

So remember when we were driving driving in your car

Speed so fast I felt like I was drunk

City lights lay out before us

And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder

And I had a feeling that I belonged

I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You got a fast car

I got a job that pays all our bills

You stay out drinking late at the bar

See more of your friends than you do of your kids

I'd always hoped for better

Thought maybe together you and me find it

I got no plans I ain't going nowhere

So take your fast car and keep on driving

So remember when we were driving driving in your car

Speed so fast I felt like I was drunk

City lights lay out before us

And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder

And I had a feeling that I belonged

I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You got a fast car

Is it fast enough so you can fly away?

You gotta make a decision

Leave tonight or live and die this way

Spiritual Lessons from Nature Part IV

Yesterday was the first full day of spring, and in New England we were greeted with several inches of beautiful white snow rather than the usual tree buds blossoming and crocuses and daffodils blooming.

For me, as a tried and true New Englander, I can usually get just as giddy about a fresh coat of snow as I can about the first wave of color in spring with the gorgeous yellow, purple and pink flowers like forsythia and hyacinths.

And yet, I found myself grumbling about the weather yesterday, and all that came with it like pulling out winter boots again and figuring out childcare for a school snow delay.

This was until I was reminded of the Buddhist concept of beginner’s mind which was popularized by Japanese Zen Buddhist teacher and author Shunryu Suzuki (Roshi) who founded the San Francisco Zen Buddhist Center.

Suzuki Roshi suggested in his book Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind:

“If your mind is empty, it is always ready for anything, it is open to everything. In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert's mind there are few. ”

Staying open and “ready for anything” as Suzuki Roshi recommends is very difficult.  Particularly during times of crisis when the urge to maintain safety and security through familiarity and routine feels paramount- to know what the weather will be (or at least make a good guess) on the first day of spring.

In such moments, beginner’s mind, however counterintuitive it may be, can be the skill that allows us to release our grip on reality and allow it to be exactly as it is. 

There is a poem from the book Go In and In by Danna Faulds that speaks to the very essence of this skill.

LET IT GO

Let go of the ways you thought life

would unfold; the holding of plans

or dreams or expectations – Let it

all go. Save your strength to swim

with the tide. The choice to fight

what is here before you now will

only result in struggle, fear, and

desperate attempts to flee from the

very energy you long for. Let go.

Let it all go and flow with the grace

that washes through your days whether

you receive it gently or with all your

quills raised to defend against invaders.

Take this on faith; the mind may never

find the explanations that it seeks, but

you will move forward nonetheless.

Let go, and the wave’s crest will carry

you to unknown shores, beyond your

wildest dreams or destinations. Let it

all go and find the place of rest and

peace, and certain transformation.

Today I will continue to look for nature’s reminders about how to live skillfully in this human incarnation. I hope you can to.

Spiritual Lessons from Nature Part III

A couple of months ago, in mid-winter, I took a walk in the woods.  My heart was heavy that particular day, and I thought some time in nature might bring some lightness to my mood.

As I walked along the trail I noticed all of the cascades of ice on the small hills and cliffs that bordered the hiking path.  We had had a fairly mild winter until just a few weeks before, and I guessed the flowing water just froze up solid one winter day and had been frozen ever since.

A little further down the trail though, I noticed the sound of moving water.  Not the loud rush of a river, just a little drip, drip, drip sound like the highest keys on a piano.

Since all of the water I had seen so far had been rock-hard frozen, I was surprised by the sound, and I looked around for the source of this melodic water song. 

I ended up finding the little trickle coming from a small stream that was deep inside the ground. Though the ground surface had iced up, the ground beneath remained fluid and ever changing.

I vividly remember the sense of relief I felt upon hearing and then seeing the moving water.  To know that there may be a space inside of the earth that continues to flow along seamlessly despite whatever may be happening on the surface gave me hope that there may be a similar space inside of me as well.

10 Things I Know to Be True

Part of what makes a family crisis like cancer or Alzheimer’s difficult is the sense of everything feeling out of control.  And for a control freak like me, that is really hard to manage.

But recently, I’ve been trying a new spiritual practice that has been helping me through.

The idea came from a TED Talk I watched.

The speaker was Sarah Kay who self-describes on her website as “a New Yorker. a poetry writer and reader. a spoken word poetry teacher. the founder and co-director of Project VOICE”

Oh, and did I mention Ms. Kay is only 27 years-old (and she was only 22 years-old when she performed at TED!)?

The talk is great, I recommend you watch it, but what I took from it for the purposes of this blog entry was a teaching exercise Ms. Kay does with high school students to get their juices flowing for spoken word poetry.

She said she has her students make a list of 10 things they know to be true. Any 10 things.  From this list, Ms. Kay assures, spoken word poetry can be born.

Now, I’m completely phobic of public speaking and have no poetry aspirations for myself.  But I was intrigued by the exercise itself as a type of spiritual practice- particularly as an outlet for when life feels just a little (or a lot) out of control.

I became curious about what it would be like to engage in this practice on a daily basis.  Similar to a gratitude journal, what would manifest if I disciplined myself to write down 10 things I know to be true each day?

This is what I found…

First of all, it was a fun exercise.  So much of my spiritual practices as so serious, it was a breath of fresh air to play a little.

Second, it was interesting to see what made the list on any given day.

I tried to avoid manufacturing the list by intentionally not choosing when I would write the list (e.g. always after morning meditation).  This left the practice to be more inclusive and less prescribed because sometimes I was in a good mood, sometimes in a bad mood, sometimes I was in a hurry, and other times I sat with the process for a while.

In the end (or maybe the beginning), I was left with some interesting lists that gave me a little smile when I re-read them.

So just for kicks, here’s a little sample of my new spiritual practice:

10 Things I Know to Be True

Day #1

1.) I don't know everything

2.) people are born with open hearts

3.) I would give my life for my children

4.) there is vast wisdom to be learned

5.) don't underestimate the value of a moment to pause

6.) I am weak

7.) I am resilient

8.) there is only this one moment

9.) everything I need to know is right in front of me

10.) there is a vision for humanity beyond the horizon that I may never know.

10 Things I Know to Be True

Day #2

1.) the lord gives us obstacles

2.) rose water spray mist can help you get through

3.) conditioner really does make a difference in my hair

4.) suffering is inevitable

5.) addiction can hijack a life

6.) there are a handful of people who will stick by you no matter what

7.) fear will not help you in arm balance poses in yoga

8.) rainy days and takeout Chinese go together like peanut butter and jelly

9.) anger can take over your body

10.) eating pasta and bread everyday will make your pants tight

10 Things I Know to Be True

Day #3

1.) words make me feel better

2.) locked up energy inside me is no good

3.) teaching our children to multitask just feels wrong

4.) people just want to know they matter

5.) when you feel irritable, check the last time you ate

6.) singing, dancing, praying and eating together remain the core human rituals that bring us together

7.) don't underestimate the phrase "for now"

8.) a headache will eventually go away

9.) listen deeply for the grain of truth in any accusation

10.) stay hydrated

I invite you to try this spiritual practice as well, and let me know how it goes.  And remember, we have poet Sarah Kay to thank for this one!