This is not a question I have actually thought about a great deal.
Primarily because I am someone who over-thinks and over-analyzes everything, so even I caught the would-be irony if I got caught applying this behavior of over-thinking to meditation as well.
In fact, my intention to not fall back on the very behavior that was bringing me, in part, to the practice of meditation , probably led me to cling to too narrow a focus on the day-to-day aspects of setting up a practice and keeping it going, than much if any, periodic reflection on the broader questions like: what is meditation?
Recently I went on my first Overnight Mindfulness Meditation Retreat, and I was able to go back to the beginning so to speak, to not only deepen my meditation practice in a profound way (certainly more to come on this topic), but also to open my conceptualization about meditation with a wider lens.
So here we go, my new favorite (for now) definition of meditation taken from the wisdom of Buddhist teacher, author and activist Thich Nhat Hanh:
Meditation is a serene encounter with reality.
Isn’t that just perfect?
Just saying it over again in my mind: Meditation is a serene encounter with reality, brings me to a mind/heart/body space that is the equivalent of a nice, deep breath of fresh air.
Let’s start with this first word: serene.
When I used to hear the word “serene,” I had 2 quick associations: 1.) The Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971) 
and 2.) joy or happiness.
The Serenity Prayer for me is like a dear old friend.
These are words that are very familiar, very comforting, that I can go back to easily in a time of distress or crisis, and words I might just say to myself on any given Tuesday morning just because.
I’m sure most of you already know this one if you are American because it is central to the Twelve-Step AA Movement, but just in case you live elsewhere, here it is:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Associating “The Serenity Prayer” with Thich Nhat Hanh’s use of “serene” in his definition of meditation was actually extremely helpful for me because the prayer itself had already integrated such concepts as acceptance and courage, and I might add willingness, that I’ve found are essential ingredients for any chance in hell at having a “serene encounter with reality.”
The second association I previously had with the word “serene” was “joy” or “happiness,” and after this Retreat, I in fact found it useful to let go of this one.
Having practiced meditation for the past 5 years, I was already well aware before this Retreat that the meditation experience was not one of daily bliss, ecstasy, relaxation, what have you.
Unfortunately though, I think I brought my pack-horse-like, New England work ethic to the cushion instead. It’s like I went to the opposite end of the spectrum and became rather militant about the practice so that my “work-type” mentality was present each time I sat down to meditate.
The funny thing is, you might think that this would have made me rather dread meditating each day, but miraculously it didn’t. What can I say, we New Englanders are hearty folks I guess…boot straps and all.
What has been helpful though, is this tendency that I had fallen into was pointed out in one of the 7:15 p.m. Dharma Talks that was held each evening by the Retreat teachers in the meditation hall.
The teacher, Susan, shared with participants in our retreat that at one time in her own meditation practice she had noticed that her process of labeling her thoughts as “thoughts” in her mind each time it had wandered from its attention on the breath, had taken on an almost aggressive quality. Rather than a gentle or compassionate redirection of the mind from the thoughts back to the breath, she noticed herself “yanking myself back to the breath” that to her felt quasi violent in nature.
I appreciated the Retreat teacher sharing this possible pit-fall in a meditation practice because it was surly one that I myself had fallen into at times.
Furthermore, I was able to see more clearly, or awaken to, how awkward and maybe even counterintuitive it would be for me to apply this word “serene” to my encounter with meditation.
However, when I re-contextualized serene to be a state of ease, acceptance, willingness, nonjudgmental kindness, curiosity, and softening (particularly with the body, but more on that later), my meditation practice dramatically changed nearly instantly. It was truly amazing.
No longer was I sitting down every other hour to meditate with this “work-like” approach to the practice.
I realized that before this Retreat, each time I sat down on my meditation cushion it was like I was a life guard climbing up into my little chair high above the swimming pool to scan for the swimmers down below who dared swim outside the designated swimming area. And each time I caught one, I’d blow my whistle loudly—“THINKING”—in order to get everyone and everything back in line.
Can I say: controlling? Well no wonder there had been no one-time experience of bliss or ecstasy as of yet??? Even if that was not what I was going for.
The second two words in Thich Nhat Hanh’s definition of meditation: encounter and reality are such intelligent choices because inherent in each word are several of the core principles of meditation such as impermanence and beginner’s mind.
But here is what I find most elegant about this definition of meditation: it is applicable on and off the cushion.
For anyone out there still believing that meditation practice is a solitary experience that only benefits the self, consider the possibilities if we all approached more moments in our days with the intention to practice a serene encounter with reality.
Consider that the next time you are in a line at the grocery store behind an irate customer with an expired coupon they are trying to use. Or the next time you are cut off in traffic going 70 mph and your children are in the back seat. Or come the fall in the United States when you are watching the U.S. Presidential Debates on TV. Then, try practicing a serene encounter with reality.
I did not expect to go to my first Overnight Mindfulness Meditation Retreat to have my meditation practice turned inside out and upside down, but, as it turns out, the process of redefining meditation truly was a game-changer for me and my practice in the best possible way.
How do you define meditation?
