I think what is magnetic about the word "truth" is the absolute and resolute quality that it conveys so efficiently. As in when you say to your partner: "But it's true;" like that is all that needs to be said.
Truth however is such a huge word which defines all that I know AND all that I don't know. It includes everything that has occurred in the past, what is happening now in the present, AND everything that is to come together in the future. Truth is not perception alone. It is not facts by themselves either. I think of truth as a concept far more transcendent and hands-off for us limited human types because it is just too big.
The writer, thinker, and Buddhist teacher who helped me with "truth" most was Susan Salzberg. When I was pregnant with my daughter in 2013 I read Ms. Salzberg's book called "Faith." In this book Ms. Salzberg helped me to understand the reality of truth in the context of my work as a psychotherapist.
At the time I was reading "Faith" I had gotten quite upset over a patient who, I felt, had snowed me. Which means, for those of you who don't know, I was seriously wondering what information, if any, that the patient had told me was true. Was the entire treatment a farce? Had anything about the relationship, which I had really felt invested in, been real?
It was during this growing sense of anger, bitterness, and resentment that I read Ms. Salzberg's description of a children's book called "Zoom." She talked about this small picture book in her book "Faith." In the book the reader is reminded that at any given time we are only privy to a teeny tiny piece of the reality pie, and that teeny tiny reality is completely biased and colored by our own filters of personal history, assumptions, and interpretations that inevitably creates a distorted piece-meal version of truth at best. I actually ended up going out and buying the children's book "Zoom" too because it had been so instrumental to my expanding awareness of reality in the context of slippery nature of truth.
In the end though, this new understanding of truth helped me do 2 things. One, it helped me to let go of the difficult emotions associated with this patient that I had felt hurt by in some small way by her omissions and/or flat out lies.
And two, more importantly, I was reminded that at any given moment I am only ever aware of a small piece of reality, and that reality is being seen through the blurry, scratchy lens that is me. Which means, by our very human nature, something is being left out. And the farther and farther and farther I zoom into a wider view of the present, or a longer view of the past or future, I inevitably have a deeper truth of reality. A truth far more vast than my eyes can see.
It's like standing on the sea shore and looking out to the horizon. You know there is more beyond what you can see. And yet, the small little square I stand on to look out into the world is just as valid, just as true, however comparatively small and incomplete it may be. In other words, my experience with this patient was real and valid, but it existed within a larger context than I could possibly know or imagine. A larger truth that would likely never be revealed to me. A reality beyond the horizon.
Which leads me to say, truth can be humbling. Truth puts us in our place- often in a not-so-subtle way either. It's like god's reminder to us that we are fabulous, but we are only this small size, and not due all information at all times. It's like reality is given on a need to know basis. But do not confuse your small reality for truth as a whole. See? Humbling.
I shared earlier this week that I've been at a professional training in my field of psychotherapy these last few days. During this time "truth," in its fullest sense, presented itself to me again.
The training itself was truly fantastic. Too fantastic actually because I learned all kinds of things that helped me to understand and conceptualize patients in totally new ways. That's a good thing though, right? Well, what about past patients with whom I wish I could re-do the therapy? The ol' if I knew then what I know now... A thought pattern of mine that I have become familiar enough with to spot how dangerous it can be in the way it can yield all kinds of emotions like guilt, shame, anger, resentment, sadness, and helplessness.
But this week, I didn't go there. I was humbled, sure. I silently wished my past patients well wherever they are currently. But I also held Ms. Salzberg's message about truth being a continuum of time and facts that is literally changing minute to minute, second to second. What I perceived to be one reality in 2005, may look entirely different now in 2015. And the 2025 perspective might be something I could not even yet recognize or comprehend.
Truth is the macro reality that holds all of our micro realities in the balance until a new broader reality can be revealed. And faith, as a verb, is required to access, though not fully grasp, truth. Without faith, truth is illusive and the world can seem a cold, heartless and random place. Faith is what connects us to the unknowable aspect of truth that is beyond our reach, beyond the horizon. Thank god for faith. Hold on to it.
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