In Moments of Despair: Dr. Martin Luther King Jr

 This past weekend I attended a talk by author Thomas Moore.  He spoke to the audience about cultivating a life of spirit and soul, and  the need for more active attention toward what is “soul-full” and far less attention toward what is “soul-less.” 

He went on to comment that the emphasis of the 20^th century was undoubtedly technology, which led to a vast series of unequivocal technological fruits born of this endeavor. 

However, with our eye toward the A-Bomb, Assault Rifles, Nuclear Warheads, Dish Washers, Toaster Ovens, Pharmaceuticals, BMW’s, Airplanes, Skateboards, Solar Panels, Biodiesel, Televisions, DVD Players, Cloning, Genetic Testing, Elipticals, the Internet, Tablets, and Cell Phones, we may have neglected the cultivation of the very necessary psychological and spiritual skills human beings need to share a planet together--all 6 Billion of us—while we figure out how to use (or not use) these pieces of technology wisely and mindfully.

The mass shooting at the nightclub Pulse in Orlando, Florida this weekend is another painful reminder of this reality.

Of all the skills required for co-habitation and co-existing, to my mind, the most important is the ability to act without harming self or other- to act non-violently.

There is an assumption that people (men, women and children) either:

a.) already know how to be non-violent, or

b.) are not capable of being non-violent.

I don’t believe either are true.  I think human beings are capable of non-violent action with skills training.

Yet, even though I believe this--even though I know this to be true-- I can still fall into deep despair when I hear that more people have lost their lives due to hate, ignorance, hopelessness, and violence. 

Whether it is a middle aged man who takes his own life because he is unable to provide for his family, or an unarmed young Black person caught in the wrong place at the wrong time looking down the barrel of a police officer’s gun, or a child going into their first grade classroom at  9 a.m. on a Tuesday never to walk out again, or a French woman getting on the subway to go to work and never arriving, or a teenage girl who cuts her own wrist to avoid emotional pain, or a woman tormented by her spouse in her own home, or an Army Sergeant doing drills at Fort So-and-So and being confronted by a disenfranchised colleague, or a disabled child being severely bullied by their peers on the playground, or a member of the LGBTQ community spending a Saturday night out with friends on Latin Night at their favorite club when a well-armed 29 year-old decides to use this club to carry-out god knows what…

Yes, I can despair. Yes, my heart breaks.

For this reason, I find it helpful, and sometimes necessary, to re-read words that are nourishing and hopeful that our human species will wake up and rise to what we are capable of in this one precious human life.

Today, these words are those of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Read these words Slowly.  Carefully.  And With Heart.

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The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral,

begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy.

Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it.

Through violence you may murder the liar,

but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth.

Through violence you may murder the hater,

but you do not murder hate.

In fact, violence merely increases hate.

So it goes.

Returning violence for violence multiplies violence,

adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness:

only light can do that.

Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.

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Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

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Cowardice asks the question - is it safe?

Expediency asks the question - is it politic?

Vanity asks the question - is it popular?

But conscience asks the question - is it right?

And there comes a time when one must take a position

that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular;

but one must take it because it is right.

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Nonviolence is the answer

to the crucial political and moral questions of our time:

the need for man to overcome oppression and violence

without resorting to oppression and violence.

Man must evolve for all human conflict

a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation.

The foundation of such a method is love.

***Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech,

Stockholm, Sweden, December 11, 1964

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A nation that continues year after year

to spend more money on military defense

than on programs of social uplift

is approaching spiritual death.

***Where Do We Go from Here: Chaos or Community?, 1967

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Man was born into barbarism

when killing his fellow man

was a normal condition of existence.

He became endowed with a conscience.

And he has now reached the day

when violence toward another human being

must become as abhorrent as eating another's flesh.

***Why We Can't Wait, 1963

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Somehow this madness must cease.

We must stop now.

I speak as a child of God and brother

to the suffering poor of Vietnam.

I speak for those whose land is being laid waste,

whose homes are being destroyed,

whose culture is being subverted.

I speak for the poor in America

who are paying the double price

of smashed hopes at home

and death and corruption in Vietnam.

I speak as a citizen of the world,

for the world as it stands aghast

at the path we have taken.

I speak as an American

to the leaders of my own nation.

The great initiative in this war is ours.

The initiative to stop it must be ours.

***The Trumpet of Conscience, 1967

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Darkness cannot drive out darkness;

only light can do that.

Hate cannot drive out hate;

only love can do that.

Hate multiplies hate,

violence multiplies violence,

and toughness multiplies toughness

in a descending spiral of destruction....

The chain reaction of evil --

hate begetting hate,

wars producing more wars --

must be broken,

or we shall be plunged

into the dark abyss of annihilation.

***Strength To Love, 1963

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Like anybody, I would like to live a long life.

Longevity has its place.

But I'm not concerned about that now.

I just want to do God's will.

And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain.

And I've looked over.

And I've seen the promised land.

I may not get there with you.

But I want you to know tonight,

that we, as a people will get to the promised land.

***I've Been To The Mountaintop, April 3, 1968

Re-reading Dr. King's words remind me of Metta or Loving-Kindness Meditation. 

I think this week I will commit to practice Metta Meditation everyday as a way to bring my own awareness to the ways in which I may act, speak and engage psychologically from a non-harming, non-violent perspective because I truly believe it is a skill we all are capable of and we all must practice. Again and again.

May it be so.

Kindred Spirits: Mary Oliver

In my UU church service this weekend I was introduced to a Mary Oliver poem that I had never heard before.  It was called:  When I am Among the Trees.

In the service, the poem was set beautifully to music by the church choir which I unfortunately cannot replicate for you here.

But the poem itself goes like this:

When I am among the trees,

especially the willows and the honey locust,

equally the beech, the oaks and the pines,

they give off such hints of gladness.

I would almost say that they save me, and daily.

I am so distant from the hope of myself,

in which I have goodness, and discernment,

and never hurry through the world

but walk slowly, and bow often.

Around me the trees stir in their leaves

and call out, “Stay awhile.”

The light flows from their branches.

And they call again, “It’s simple,” they say,

“and you too have come

into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled

with light, and to shine.”

Hearing this poem was like listening to the words of another kindred spirit.

Now that the New England season has transitioned to its too early warm summer temperatures, my meditation practice has shifted to. 

In the winter months my primary object, where I gather my attention in insight meditation, is on my breath.  However, in the summer, with my back door open, I use sound as my primary object of meditation, and often, the sound is of tree leaves swishing in the light breeze.

I particularly enjoyed this seasonal shift in my object of meditation recently at my first overnight mindfulness meditation retreat.

On this retreat I tried out forest meditation for the first time in this little, screened-in one-woman cabin.

It was a novel experience for me to have my primary object of meditation, sound, be surrounding me so fully, 360 degrees in fact.  And, as it was a forest, the subtle and not-so-subtle movements of the woodlands were the most precious to me.

Perhaps Ms. Oliver would have enjoyed the practice too...

How about you?

Re-Defining Meditation

How would you define meditation?

This is not a question I have actually thought about a great deal.

Primarily because I am someone who over-thinks and over-analyzes everything, so even I caught the would-be irony if I got caught applying this behavior of over-thinking to meditation as well. 

In fact, my intention to not fall back on the very behavior that was bringing me, in part, to the practice of meditation , probably led me to cling to too narrow a focus on the day-to-day aspects of setting up a practice and keeping it going,  than much if any, periodic reflection on the broader questions  like: what is meditation?

Recently I went on my first Overnight Mindfulness Meditation Retreat, and I was able to go back to the beginning so to speak, to not only deepen my meditation practice in a profound way (certainly more to come on this topic), but also to open my conceptualization about meditation with a wider lens.

So here we go, my new favorite (for now) definition of meditation taken from the wisdom of Buddhist teacher, author and activist Thich Nhat Hanh:

Meditation is a serene encounter with reality.

Isn’t that just perfect?

Just saying it over again in my mind: Meditation is a serene encounter with reality, brings me to a mind/heart/body space that is the equivalent of a nice, deep breath of fresh air.

Let’s start with this first word: serene.

When I used to hear the word “serene,” I had 2 quick associations: 1.) The Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)

and 2.) joy or happiness.

The Serenity Prayer for me is like a dear old friend. 

These are words that are very familiar, very comforting, that I can go back to easily in a time of distress or crisis, and words I might just say to myself on any given Tuesday morning just because.

I’m sure most of you already know this one if you are American because it is central to the Twelve-Step AA Movement, but just in case you live elsewhere, here it is:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.

Associating  “The Serenity Prayer” with Thich Nhat Hanh’s use of “serene” in his definition of meditation was actually extremely helpful for me because the prayer itself had already integrated such concepts as acceptance and courage, and I might add willingness, that I’ve found are essential ingredients for any chance in hell at having a “serene encounter with reality.”

The second association I previously had with the word “serene” was “joy” or “happiness,” and after this Retreat, I in fact found it useful to let go of this one.

Having practiced meditation for the past 5 years, I was already well aware before this Retreat that the meditation experience was not one of daily bliss, ecstasy, relaxation, what have you.

Unfortunately though, I think I brought my pack-horse-like, New England work ethic to the cushion instead.  It’s like I went to the opposite end of the spectrum and became rather militant about the practice so that my “work-type” mentality was present each time  I sat down to meditate. 

The funny thing is, you might think that this would have made me rather dread meditating each day, but miraculously it didn’t.  What can I say, we New Englanders are hearty folks I guess…boot straps and all.

What has been helpful though, is this tendency that I had fallen into was pointed out in one of the 7:15 p.m. Dharma Talks that was held each evening by the Retreat teachers in the meditation hall.

The teacher, Susan, shared with participants in our retreat that at one time in her own meditation practice she had noticed that her process of labeling her thoughts as “thoughts” in her mind each time it had wandered from its attention on the breath, had taken on an almost aggressive quality.  Rather than a gentle or compassionate redirection of the mind from the thoughts back to the breath, she noticed herself “yanking myself back to the breath” that to her felt quasi violent in nature.

I appreciated the Retreat teacher sharing this possible pit-fall in a meditation practice because it was surly one that I myself had fallen into at times.

Furthermore, I was able to see more clearly, or awaken to, how awkward and maybe even counterintuitive it would be for me to apply this word “serene” to my encounter with meditation.

However, when I re-contextualized serene to be a state of ease, acceptance, willingness, nonjudgmental kindness, curiosity, and softening (particularly with the body, but more on that later), my meditation practice dramatically changed nearly instantly.  It was truly amazing.

No longer was I sitting down every other hour to meditate with this “work-like” approach to the practice. 

I realized that before this Retreat, each time I sat down on my meditation cushion it  was like I was a life guard climbing up into my little chair high above the swimming pool to scan for the swimmers down below who  dared swim outside the designated swimming area.  And each time I caught one, I’d blow my whistle loudly—“THINKING”—in  order to get everyone and everything back in line.

Can I say: controlling?  Well no wonder there had been no one-time experience of bliss or ecstasy as of yet??? Even if that was not what I was going for.

The second two words in Thich Nhat Hanh’s definition of meditation: encounter and reality are such intelligent choices because inherent in each word are several of the core principles of meditation such as impermanence and beginner’s mind.

But here is what I find most elegant about this definition of meditation: it is applicable on and off the cushion.

For anyone out there still believing that meditation practice is a solitary experience that only benefits the self, consider the possibilities if we all approached more moments in our days with the intention to practice a serene encounter with reality.

Consider that the next time you are in a line at the grocery store behind an irate customer with an expired coupon they are trying to use.  Or the next time you are cut off in traffic going 70 mph and your children are in the back seat.  Or come the fall in the United States when you are watching the U.S. Presidential Debates on TV.  Then, try practicing a serene encounter with reality.

I did not expect to go to my first Overnight Mindfulness Meditation Retreat to have my meditation practice turned inside out and upside down, but, as it turns out, the process of redefining meditation truly was a game-changer for me and my practice in the best possible way.

How do you define meditation?                                                            

Spiritual Lessons from Nature: Part V

On a recent spring afternoon here in New England, I went for a hike in the woods that had just blossomed into a nearly floresant green due to all the rain we'd had.

Before I started though, I set the intention to keep my eye out for spiritual lessons from the lives of trees.

Here are just a few lessons I learned that day...

There is beauty in all shapes, forms & sizes.

Unity yields diversity.

Long-term companionship is possible.

We don't have to look just like our neighbors.

Reuse. Recycle.

Life is not always straight and narrow.

A beautiful life can be born of a twisty, turny beginning.