On my commute to work this morning I listened to a Dharma Talk by Buddhist teacher and author Sharon Salzberg taken from YouTube. I do this when I need a sermon on the run to get myself back in alignment before I reach the hospital where I work.
In it she talked about the idea of meditation practice being a vehicle to experiment with choosing a new response to life situations that is different (not better) than whatever our usual habitual or automatic responses may be. Or, to see if our conclusions or interpretations about a life situation are more habitual versus evidence based.
I found this to be an intriguing idea, especially in light of my historical tendency to get caught in a spider web of negative thinking that I recently described in my last blog post “The Thought factory.”
Because I have this vulnerability of going down the rabbit hole of negativity, for me to start to see my meditation practice as an experiment would at first require a structured practice. For when I really get hooked on a thought in meditation, I can sometimes even forget what I intended to do there on the cushion. Sometimes during meditation the old habit to fixate on the negative--like the one black drop of ink in an otherwise clear beaker--becomes so powerful that I just get pulled away without even noticing it. Consequently, it would be useful to have a practice to help me move my eyes away from that one drop of ink. Not to dismiss, deny, or change it. Just to expand my view of all reality to see if there is anything else that might be there too- not instead of, alongside.
One such practice that has helped me, and might you as well, is Counting my Blessings.
I once heard Krista Tippett, host of the NPR radio show “On Being,” say in an interview that there is a necessity for us to “train our eyes” to not just see through the filters of our own experience or particular vantage point, but to see the larger whole, including the blind spots that we usually miss if we are not making an effort to look there.
When we are on automatic pilot, our thought patterns tend to be a few selective neuropathways that are like a wide, over-used hiking path in the woods. Paths we can walk down blindfolded. But in doing so, we a.) don’t take a chance by walking down another unknown path (which is what Sharon Salzberg was referring to), b.) continue to reinforce those same thought patterns even more (like now we are pouring concrete on the hiking path to make them fully paved paths in the woods), and c.) we potentially miss beauty and awe that is right in front of our noses (a.k.a. our blessings).
You may be wondering if all this talk about blessings is really a blog about gratitude. But I’d disagree. I think gratitude and blessings are like kissing cousins, very similar, but still undoubtedly distinct.
The word “blessing” is an interesting word because it is both a noun and a verb—I love words like that—and it has multiple definitions. Here, I’m using the word “blessing” as defined as: a favor or gift bestowed by God, thereby bringing happiness (borrowed words). The word “gratitude” on the other hand, is more of a thankfulness or appreciation-very similar but not quite the same as blessing. I feel like blessings are something I am the beneficiary of, and gratitude is something that I self-generate. Blessings feel dynamic with a larger other (god) and gratitude feels grounded in the self.
I recently used this practice of Counting my Blessings a couple of months ago when a colleague where I work lost her 21 year-old niece to a tragic accident. I don’t know this particular colleague all that well, but the news of her loss left me speechless. Then, I found my mind shifting to worry about the health and well-being of my own 4 nieces and nephews. Followed by what seemed to be a greater sensitivity to the stories of hardships of all others around me. Like the patient who had her car repossessed, the kindergarten classmate of my son’s who’s 32 year-old father just inexplicably died last month, and the family member who is having her house foreclosed.
See, this is how my mind can go. It’s like I put on a pair of sunglasses with a particular tint of negative that causes my perspective to become unbalanced and skewed.
I find meditation helps with this though. As do spiritual practices that help us to “train our eyes” to see a more balanced perspective of reality; the good, the bad and the ugly, versus just the bad and the ugly. Because the goal is not to be Haley Mills in Disney’s 1960 movie Pollyanna, the goal is to enter reality in its fullness, and there is goodness in reality. It sounds funny, but sometimes we need a concrete spiritual practice to help us to acknowledge the goodness, to help us see the blessings.
I think of this practice as somewhat like the counting done on each and every episode of Sesame Street by The Count himself. This may be a stretch for some of you, but currently I have a 20 month old baby, and therefore watch a fair amount of PBS Kids Network these days, but some spiritual practices are most helpful when kept simple and uncomplicated. That way we can pick them up in difficult (or desperate) moments and, in this case, begin to simply count:
1.): One, 23 year-old precocious and funny-as-hell niece,
2.): One, 16 year-old compassionate and creative niece,
3.) One, 22 year-old generous and sensitive nephew,
4.) One, 12 year-old thoughtful and playful nephew,
5.) Two beautiful and loving children,
6.) Seven smart, interesting and loyal girlfriends,
7.) One full-time job,
8.) One committed and love-you-even-at-my-worst husband,
9.) One cozy and safe house,
10.) Two great camping trips this summer,
11.) Two working vehicles,
12.) Two functional legs to carry me around all day,
13.) Two eyes, Two ears, Two hands, and One mouth to soak in the earth through all my senses…
Obviously I could keep going. You could too. And from this practice, an enormous sense of gratitude can flow forth from the recognition of our blessings.
Of course this practice cannot be fabricated in any way to be useful. Authenticity is essential. It is also a must to avoid self-judging or shaming yourself into this practice. As in: “I want to be more moral, more ethical,” or in my case, less negative, what have you. As I’ve said before, I do not believe this strategy to be at all helpful for spiritual growth or awakening, and in my experience often actually leads me back to my same problematic habitual thought patterns that I’m working to let go of.
It probably should be noted here too, that the reverse is also true. If we are to truly follow Sharon Salzberg’s directions to a T and see our meditation practice, on and off the cushion, as an experiment of expanding awareness by putting down our habitual filters, then while we may train our eyes to be more inclusive of the blessings in our world (the good), we also may train our eyes to see more of the injustices in our world (the bad and the ugly). To choose to no longer turn a blind eye to inequality and wrong-doing in our world.
A recent example of this in the entertainment industry is the actor Bill Cosby. Growing up as a child in the 1980’s I always wanted to be a member of the Cosby family on the popular television sitcom. I loved how the parents, children and grandparents would always play tricks and games on each other and I loved the idea of a big family compared to my small nuclear family. But then, fast forward 20 years later and we receive the news that over a dozen women have come forward to say that Bill Cosby himself drugged these women and sexually assaulted them. When we stop just viewing this one actor, this one sitcom, in one narrow viewpoint, we begin to see a fuller, and in this case uglier, perspective.
I’ve said before, spiritual awakening is not for the faint hearted. Training our eyes to either count our blessings or acknowledge the injustices in our lives and in our world can be very heavy lifting. Which is why it is essential that we keep engaging in regular practices to build up our muscles so that we don’t get injured.
How do you experiment with broadening your awareness to be more inclusive? On and off the cushion?
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