Two Christian Men That Helped Me Get Through the Holidays

Though I did not plan it this way, this year it came to be that the words of two Christian men helped me to get through the holidays.

I’ve written here before that I am not a holiday person and I am also not a Christian.

And yet, this year, it was the words of an Austrian Benedictine Monk, Brother David Steindl-Rast, and an Italian Catholic Saint , Francis of Assisi, that I used as my guiding light when intense emotions began to blur my vision during Christmas Eve and Christmas.

Brother David Steindl-Rast is a 91 year-old monastic who is the founder and senior advisor for A Network for Grateful Living. He is also an author, a veteran, an advocate for inter-faith dialogue, and he has a TED talk called “Want to Be Happy? Be Grateful.”

Saint Francis of Assisi was a Roman Catholic friar, deacon and preacher who lived from 1181 to 1226 and founded several orders of monastics.  He was canonized as a saint in 1228 by Pope Gregory IX.

I heard Brother David Steindl-Rast’s words in an interview on my favorite podcast On Being.

The interview took place on January 21, 2016, and in it, the elder monk said this about gratitude:

I don’t speak of the gift, because not for everything that’s given to you can you really be grateful.

You can’t be grateful for war in a given situation, or violence, or sickness, things like that.

So the key when people ask, can you be grateful for everything? No, not for everything.

But in every moment, [yes.]

This idea to make space for the gratitude that is already here in every moment really resonated deeply this past weekend.

To consider the presence of gratitude during: moments of frustration, moments of despair, and in the depths of a low-down sulk was a notion that was very appealing to me.

The idea that, if I allowed it, if I turned my mind, gratitude could share in this moment too.

This concept reminds me of something I read a while ago by Positive Psychologist, lecturer and author Maria Sirois:

Suffering does not negate what is good and rich in our world...Both are real. Both are valid. To find that which brings about a life worth living, even with its despairs, is to keep our minds open to the possibility of and.

Here’s the key though: it cannot be by force, aggression, or even by tremendous effort.

No, it is with sheer willingness alone. 

Willingness to perceive my own sincere gratefulness even if it may cloud, confuse, or complicate the pain and suffering that is equally present.

The second set of words, by Saint Francis of Assisi, is actually a well-known prayer that for me, until this past weekend, was never able to fully penetrate my many layers of armor before.

The prayer is as follows:

[god], make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.

O divine [god], grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.

I have to admit though, of the 15 lines above, as with many prayers, sometimes I never get passed the first line:

Make me an instrument of your peace.

In fact, I could repeat that one line all day, every day, and never be done with it- or it done with me perhaps.

Jay M. Hammond, a professor of historical theology, director of The Center for Franciscan Thought, and contributing author for America: The Jesuit Review wrote the following in his 2002 article: “Francis of Assisi: A Symbol of Peace:”

Francis’ practice of prayer invites everyone to discern God’s initiative, presence and action in every authentic struggle for peace, reconciliation and solidarity within the human family…Francis’ prayer did not allow him to escape the world; rather, it compelled him to embrace and engage it.

I ask you, aren’t those exactly the kinds of words that we need when we are facing life’s challenges head-on?

Words that help us to embrace and engage life, rather than escape it?

I invite you to consider what timeless words might help you to navigate the exterior and interior terrain of living as we approach the New Year because as I learned from this last holiday: words can heal, or at a minimum, help a little.

May it be so.