Lying in savasana,
the end before the end,
I feel the death
before dying.
Somewhat mysterious
in its subtly-
a life both alive and gone.
An inner dialogue of
devastation and long awaited relief.
As always,
I look to nature for clues
for how to skillfully proceed.
The rotting log.
The budding leaf.
Yet,
I'm fairly sure,
nature's steadfast wisdom
still cannot comprehend
the heart-breaking grief
that is orchestrated in our human soul.
(Can it?)
I believe You bestowed
that Gift to us alone.
Yet this aching Gift consumes me,
forcing me to crave the resurrection.
Now.
Please.
I do not want
to experience this death until
its painstaking end-
god knows how long that will be...
You pause.
Sweetheart,
You whisper,
with all the tenderness
of a Beloved,
it is still too soon.
Some things cannot be rushed.
Some things cannot be glossed over.
I take a breath.
Long and slow this time.
Okay, I say, on the exhale.
I will stay
a little while longer.
Another death before dying.
Another glimpse
into the really real;
where You and I will intersect
in the ashes once more.
-Me
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