"Unknowing" Can be Liberating

There are some spiritual and religious phrases that I don’t entirely get, but I like them just the same.  “The Cloud of Unknowing” is one of them.

This phrase is actually the title of a Christian text from the 14^th century by an anonymous author, and it is thought to be based in Christian Mysticism.

This spiritual manuscript has influenced generations of theologians since its birth, and to my understanding, its underlying message (which is admittedly limited at best) is that we must surrender all of our concepts of god in order to align with god.  Or, in other words, we must let go of all that we think we know to be true, in order to know truth.

I think this idea is similar to the Buddhist slogan: "If you meet the Buddha, kill the Buddha," and if this idea is "true," then for me “The Cloud of Unknowing” is both bad news and good news.

The bad news is: my tendency to over-analyze and over-intellectualize will not be of help with this one.

In the realm of the spiritual life, I’m learning that, to quote a recent Meditation teacher, Michael Grady, “I can’t think my way to happiness.”

However, the good news is: there is tremendous opportunity for freedom in letting it all go.

I actually don’t have to have it all figured out, and man, is that liberating!

So on days like today--when fatigue is dominant, when my meditation practice seems to take the effort of 10 elephants pushing cement up a hill, when my over-all attitude is that of discouragement, doubt and general grumpiness,  and I feel like I am just kind of dragging my body around--I can actually hold tight.

I can know that I don’t know.

That whatever I’m feeling or experiencing in this moment will sooner or later transform into the feeling and experience of the next moment because in this universe the laws of impermanence rule, and it is my job to just skillfully ride the wave.

And maybe, maybe, every so often, during one of those hundreds and hundreds of rides, I might glimpse a sense of union with what I call god (lower case “g”).

In the meantime, I will keep practicing what my teacher Michael called "gentle perseverance" and patience which he defined as the opposite of teeth gritting. "Patience is softer, it's bigger. It sees the big picture so that it allows you to be with- to hold the experience."

May it be so.

How do you understand “The Cloud of Unknowing?”

[Photo by Claire Olsen]