Spiritual Seeking & Sexism

Lately I’ve been contemplating women and the life of the soul.  Not exclusively my own per se, but those around me as well as those of the past.  It seems amazing to me that in 2015 there are still very few prominent models for us female seekers who have chosen more than one vocation (motherhood and work and a spiritual life) to follow. How is that possible?

If you read my blog you already know author Sue Monk Kidd is a favorite of mine, and last night I just finished reading her novel The Invention of Wings. Briefly, it is a historical novel based on the real life of a white, southern, feminist, abolitionist woman named Sarah Grimke and a fictionalized African American slave named Handful. The story tells the narrative of their two unfolding lives in the 19^thcentury.  I’ll let you discover the book for yourself, but last night I was left with a sadness inside that reflected my sense of scarcity for these types of stories—fictional or historical—that help us imagine women in complex 3 dimensional fashion.

Not surprisingly, if you have read other works by Sue Monk Kidd, both characters Sarah and Handful have rich and evolving spiritual sensibilities that seem as important, if not more, than all the stepping stones of life events that each follows.  

But alongside that spiritual life, Sue Monk Kidd also painted the painful reality of sexism and racism in the lives of American women, and this led me to reflect on my own grandmother.

She was born in 1911, and when she was a student at the University of Michigan from 1929-1934, as a woman, she was not able to walk through the front doors of the student union building. She was forced to enter through the rear.  I learned this when she returned many years later to visit her alma mater, and was surprised by the invitation of my mother for her to walk through the main entrance, reserved in her time only for men. This same grandmother was also later fired from her job in the 1940’s when her employer learned she was pregnant. Only to have to look for work again to support her two young children when her husband died at the age of 38, and she was left with no income.

In considering my grandmother’s experience, or that of the characters in the novel, it seems all women have experienced a variation of these obstacles with differences being only in degree whether it be1829, 1929 or 2015.  And while this saddens me deeply, it also makes it perfectly understandable why women still struggle with feelings of insufficiency or continue to feel unsure that they may pursue a life containing love and creativity, both necessary for the life of the soul I would argue. Obstacles such as sexism and racism just reinforce these harmful beliefs that still sit at the core of many women.

And spiritual communities are certainly not immune to these isms either.  In my search for models of women seekers I’ve been reading about folks who’ve dedicated themselves to a spiritual path as a vocation in and of itself. For example, I’ve been piecing through Dakini Power which is a book about several prominent female Buddhists of the Tibetan tradition.  I want to say, I have thoroughly enjoyed a completely female focused perspective on this topic (it is also written by a woman Michael Haas), but felt dismayed to hear the tales of “spiritual” male teachers who pushed their own sexual agendas with their female students. 

I had read similar accounts in Stephen Cope’s book Yoga and the Quest for the True Self where he in part discusses  the legacy of sexual relationships between Amrit Desai, founder of Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health in the Berkshires--a place I’ve come to know and love--and his female followers.  And abuse of power to say the least.

For me, stories like these, and  historical reminders like I discussed above, can leave me feeling both disillusioned and inspired.  Disillusioned because my naive little girl inside still seeks a perfect safehaven for her to endlessly explore the world without risk of injury.  Inspired because I am wanting, craving actually, representations of women who persevere despite the obstacles, the isms.  Women who are interesting, multi-layered and dynamic.  Women courageous enough to blaze a path for the rest of us that is both outward, through the creation of a vocation in the world including motherhood, and inward, through the nurturance of a soul that thirsts for something authentic and meaningful.

I challenge you to continue to persevere with me. And if you come across models of women who have persisted in the development of a spiritual life and vocation, I would certainly love to hear from you. We need their stories!